1) It is possible to wear a pink tutu while enjoying your toy trains and trucks.
2) The ABBA song "Dancing Queen" may in fact have been about a monarch with a long cape oddly resembling a conventional bedspread. This queen also liked to do ungraceful ballet to a disco beat, and was fond of bossing innocent bystanders around, compelling them to dance awkwardly as well.
3) "You're too fit!" is a convenient way of declaring that you are too huge to squish into any junior bed, booster seat, or pink tutu belonging to Kid #2.
4) The only proper response to your brother passing gas nearby is to declare "You're funny."
5) It is OK to be unable to distinguish between the Disney character of Snow White and your own mom.
6) Crying whenever a character in a book becomes upset doesn't mean that one's parents should return to reading you the Baby Einstein series (a series that has yet to make Kid #2 comprehend relativity. Or even gravity.)
7) Learning to control your own bladder is such hard work that it really does deserve a blue M&M each time you do it.
8) If you smile at your dad long enough, he will give you anything. Absolutely anything.
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