Against False Snow Gods

[illustration: Winter Scene. Shriner with Gazelle. March 2 2009 @ 7:54 AM]
by J J Cohen

I have come to believe that the weather deities are false gods. Or at least perverse ones. Appease and implore them how you may: pray earnestly, wear your pajamas inside out, dance naked under a holly shrub, sacrifice small children. They will give you every indication that they are favorably inclined, with apocalyptic weather reports ("FIVE INCHES OF SNOW!!! WE WILL BE BURIED UNTIL MEMORIAL DAY!!!") and colorful radar omens. They may even answer the invocations of others (my kids don't have school today). But you, they will screw you over -- just to prove that they are whimsical and at times malign.

GW opens two hours late today, at 10 AM. All classes before that hour are canceled.

I, of course, teach at 11:10.

Curse you, false deities of the snow. Never shall I be found 'neath the holly shrub engaged in your rites again.